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You know you are participating in something that is potentially damaging to many people and that there could be repercussions for yourself.You maintain the sense of safety by trying not to think about these realities.But as things progress and the honeymoon period wears off you start to have questions, you bring them up to you lover, but most likely come away with answers that leave you only partially or not at all satisfied.These questions have to do with what you mean to him, whether or not he will leave his wife for you, how he can justify cheating on his wife, whether or not he has done this before, or is cheating on you now.Your sense of intimacy with your lover can seem more intense when he becomes one of the few people you can really talk to.Free, but a prisoner You have been freed from the dating game, from the painful aspects of being single, yet you are tied to his schedule.Friends and family sense you are closed off in some way, and can become confused and discouraged about your relationship with them.You can feel this, yet are afraid it would cause more damage to their feelings about you if they knew.

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Here is my version of her findings: Treasured, but used Being in love gives you the feeling that you are precious and treasured by him, but you cannot help but wonder…if it wasn’t for the sex, would he still want to be with me?When the full reality begins to hit home, it can be a painful and frightening time.



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